Last weekend I finished my championship, mom made a big deal about it, kept picking me up and spinning me around (OK, she finally got over that, I didn't have to barf on her) and in general, treated me with the attention and adoration which is my due. After all, I'm the only champion at Kaos. I'm special.
Then, Wednesday morning Daddy woke me up at THREE AM. That's MORNING...before Momma has hit her buzzer two or three times even. The sunshine isn't even up at THREE AM...and here's Daddy, waking me up. Then he took me out to the van. Oh, goodie...a ride. I love my crate in the van, it's got all sorts of toys in it and I can watch out the back window and make faces at people. Uh...hold on here...this isn't MY van or MY crate...Daddy? What's going on? Hey, Mister, why am I in a 300 sized crate on the FLOOR. I can't see down here. Hello? Daddy? Oh for crying out loud, Mom's not coming...we're in Daddy's van. This can't be good...or can it? Daddy doesn't know all of Momma's travel rules....this could be fun.
So, I'm stuck in a 300 sized crate, the size Momma puts babies in for heaven's sake and down where I can't see. That's the first complaint for my attorney...accommodations unfitting to my station in life.
Then Daddy drove all day and took us to some place called OrEgon. It's WET up here and there's MUD everywhere! Um, hello, this better not mean an extra bath Mister. Ok, so we can play in the mud, that's cool. Daddy put us on these chains to keep us from running in the woods...kinda weird...Momma uses crates. But I can live with that.
Then came bedtime. Daddy didn't put us back in our crates, we can work with this! Frosty and I did our darnedest to eat these boxes apart...I got the wire off the door...Frosty almost got hers open. I tell ya, another hour and we'd have been busted outta these boxes. Daddy calls them "dog boxes" and we are on a trailer thing...but sheesh, any self-respecting Siberian Husky should be able to get out of these. I can't believe those lazy boys didn't do a single thing to help. Lazy bums.
And then...Daddy put us on our tie outs...and it's wet and muddy again. There's grass and stuff, it didn't take me long to show him that wasn't a suitable bedding material for a Siberian of my stature. And then? Oh, we got to go run with the scooter...now that's fun. I let Frosty do most of the work, 'cause she really likes it, but I sure look pretty running like that.
He must have called Mom at that point, because I'm stuck in my crate now. How come when Momma talks about wireless it's a good thing, but when Frosty and I try to go wireless it's not? HUH? That's not FAIR. Now I'm stuck in this dinky little crate, and I can't see out the window and I don't have my toys.
I want my lawyer. And my union rep. I have a union rep, right? I didn't ask to go camping...Momma says girls don't have to camp, that's what hotels are for.
Miss. Ch. Satinka
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